It's time to re-evaluate my life

When I was in college, I spent one year living in the sorority house and 1 of my 3 roommates would decide, after about 2 months of drunken debauchery, that she should re-evaluate her life. This usually occurred after a particularly crazy night of partying that resulted in some not-so-smart decisions. You wake up in the morning, full of regret, wishing you hadn't had that last tequila shot, and thinking, if I could do this night over again, I would. And I would change everything. But you can't. You can't change anything. And you did take that last shot right before you made that poor decision. And you begin to feel that the only way to make up for this self-destructive behavior is to "re-evaluate your life".

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These...?

Ok, this morning I was in one of those dreams where I absolutely couldn't wake up. I hit my snooze legit 15 times and I kept picking up right where I left off before the alarm started ringing. One of my childhood best friends has recently gotten engaged (like for realz, not just in the dream) and all of a sudden I'm her wedding planner/maid of honor. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world, first of all. I mean, yes, we're still friends and I'm sure I'll be invited to the wedding but...maid of honor? No. In no way, shape or form is that happening. And unless I'm subconsciously desiring to quit my day job and become a wedding planner a la J Lo in the loveable Matthew McConaughey chick flick, I don't see that happening either. But it was weird.

Because I'm too lazy, and this is hilarious

So I know I've mentioned Disaster on Heels (or DoH as I like to call it). Hilarious blogger that I suggest you follow/keep up with on the reg (a la Other Hot Messes You Should Check Out)-------->
This was a post from Sunday and it's freakin hilarious. So instead of me blogging today, I'm just going to link over to her. She's on a fun little trip to Mexico for an undisclosed amount of time and her conversations with the locals and the visitors are quite humorous. Enjoy it here!

Look Who Lost a BUNCH of Weight? I think that's what I'm shootin for...

...but that's like 200 lbs more than you already weigh...

So! First week at WW - well first week back I should say. I did WW back in 2008 and lost a bunch of weight (about 20 lbs) but I never really reached my lifetime goal and kind of got slack after a while. But it's a new year, and I'm ready to roll here (or get rid of my rolls actually), so on to the agenda. I am about to face my first big challenge: my best friend's sister's wedding.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Well, I'll be damned if I ever figure this out. The games we play and the crazy hoops we jump through for the guy or girl that we think we're crazy about are beyond me. I find it funny that when we're not looking for love it falls in our laps and when we actively seek it out, it's one dead end after another. Why is that? And why is it that some women manage to NEVER be single, and some women can't do anything to get out of their dry spells (unless they resort to prostitution...which isn't an option for any of us with a moral fiber in our bodies)? These questions go through many of our minds on a weekly basis. And I think part of it is society's pressure - our parents were married at 22 (or younger in some cases) and here we are at 25...why don't we have husbands yet? Hey-zeus Christo, mom, get out of my head!

Like Daughter, Like Mother?

So I'm finally back from vacation, and I'm somewhat caught up from being out for a week so I figure it's time to dust off the ole keyboard and start blogging again.

Vacay was awesome. Minus the whole, hanging-out-with-your-parents-for-6-days-straight deal. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents but 6 days non-stop is a little extreme for anyone. And I know that one day when I'm 45 and have kids of my own, that they'll feel the same way about me as I do about my parents. And I'm ok with that. My point remains, 6 days is a LONG time.

To be honest though, I always thought that once I became an adult, that I would grow out of that mentality that my parents are simply uncool.

It's a nice day for a white-trash wedding

I know I know...
1) It's been a hot-minute since I last posted; and
2) My last topic was on weddings - dub-tee-fuck? what gives?

Well, first let me address the former. Last week was officially my week from hell. Satan came to visit and decided to knock me on my ass and keep a pitch-fork to my neck a-la-Jessica Simpson/Dukes of Hazzard/Direct TV commercial circa 2006 style, and didn't let me breathe til yesterday. It wasn't so bad after I blacked out. Everything kind of went numb for a while as I had an out-of-body experience, watching myself run around Johns Creek like a chicken with my head cut off from Thursday to Sunday. It was a rather humorous experience. And when I finally came to, I found myself waking up from a dream that I was throwing up everywhere, when, in actuality, I was just coughing up a lung. Thanks Satan. Come visit again soon please!

Wedding Blunder

Weddings can be wonderful, right? Everyone's dressed to impress, you catch yourself checking out that hot groomsman or usher who not only walked you down the aisle and winked at you when you found your seat, but he also was so careful as he helped the 96 year old grandmother of the bride down the aisle as well - you just know that he knows how to treat a lady. You find yourself batting your eyelashes and daintily smiling in his direction while the preacher reads the nuptuals, and you can't wait for the reception to begin so he can ask you to dance. The bride & groom say I do and you jet over to the reception and start hitting the wine bar. You'd like to relax a little before that hottie in the tux decides to come over and talk to you.

Watch This! Wednesday - Bed Intruder Song

So by now a lot of you may have already seen this but since I've been MIA for a couple of weeks for WTW, thought I'd share it with anyone who HASN'T seen it yet. I was going to make some long convoluted connection between e-dating and rapists but for several reasons I don't think it's appropriate.
1) While I've been on 2 dates thus far, neither have resulted in so much as an uncomfortable sideways glance, much less made me feel violated in any way/shape/form.

Everybooodddaaayy went to the concert

So I didn't really have time to update on Friday but let me just tell you...the BSB concert was absolutely phenom. Not only were our seats less than 10 feet from the stage, but Brian totally looked right at me, smiled and waved. And holy hell, like a fine wine, they seem to get better with age. Brian's son introduced them and he is just about the cutest kid ever. They sang the classics, sang some new stuff, each did a video placement and it was nothing short of magical. I went with 6 of my girlfriends and we had an absolutely amazing time. It was like middle school all over again. And you'd be surprised how many people were at the concert! I mean, Chastain was PACKED. I guess because everyone around my age is still as fond of them as they were back in 1998.

Watch This! Wednesday - CINCO DE MAYO EDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok maybe I got a little carried away with the exclamation points...my apologies...but really I don't care because today is one of my favorite American Holidays, Cinco de Mayo!!!!!!!!!! Yep, it's right up there behind Thanksgiving and Black Friday, and My Birthday, and St. Patty's and Fourth of July. Cinco (that's spanish for 5 for all you unedjumacated folks out there) de Mayo falls into 6th place on my list (#fail).

However, it is Sophia's 2nd favorite holiday and for that, I must acknowledge the holiday and embrace the margaritas. Yes and Please! So I was doing a little searching for your WTW this morning -- because let's face it...I am a slacker and definitely waited til the last minute to find something -- and I decided that I wanted the WTW to fit with today's holiday and not just be some LOLZ-Hilarious-Idk-where-this-came-from video.

"Larry David" is my new best friend

Hey kids,

So yesterday afternoon, my boss pulled a Lumberg on me and asked me to come in by 7:45 this morning. Now, for someone who generally gets to the office at 9:00 on the dot, that's kind of asking a bit much of me...but again, he's the one who signs the paychecks so I guess I need to oblige him, right? Riiiight. The reason Dan asked me to come so early today was because he belongs to, what I call, a Secret Society of CEO's. In the real world, it's better known as Vistage, but I like the conotation "Secret Society" brings with it, so I'm gonna go with that.

New Year's Resolutions...

Well, here we are, 2010. Holy mother of God. I cannot believe that a decade ago I was ringing in the millenium with my youth group at some big youth festival at the Georgia World Congress Center, worried that we were going to run out of clean water and that our computers were all going to crash and the world as we know it might end. My how things have changed. This time of year always gets me thinking about how the previous year played out and what things I should strive to do differently/better. And I figured that this blog might serve as a good way to keep me accountable for my resolutions this year. Because there are a lot of things that happened in 2009 that I don't want to repeat in 2010. Lots of lifestyle changes to be made. I don't want to be a sour sally or a negative nancy and say that I know I'm not going to keep all of these resolutions before I've even started them. I truly want to try! And, one thing I've found, when I did a WW blog 2 years ago, is that setting mini goals is the best way to keep a resolution going. So here goes:

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!

Watch out folks, you're getting a double dose of me today because I'm simply THAT busy at work. I just thought I would share with my loyal readers another fabulous surprise activity I got to partake in about 4 hours ago to make this week even better than it already was going to be! At 11:45 this morning one of my bosses called me into her office and asked me to grab one of my co-workers. She didn't say what it was in reference to so I kind of started sweating profusely. I get really nervous when I don't have any idea what to be prepared for when I have to meet with my boss. It makes my neck hurt and my forehead sweat, among other things. So I grabbed my co-worker and told her that the boss wanted to see us. I walk in to see 3 other co-workers standing there in her office. ok, now I'm really starting to sweat. What did I do wrong that my boss felt the need to call everyone in to her office to scold me about? Shit. This cannot be good.

Another one bites the dust

So, it's 8:30am and I just found out TWO more of my friends just got engaged. In my life, I have been to a total of 16 weddings. And 9 of those have been in the last 2 years. Now I know I'm just a couple of years out of college and we have the first "wave" of weddings right after everyone graduates but seriously?? NINE in TWO years?? Thank God I haven't been IN any of them yet - no 27 dresses story to tell here - but just attending nine in the span of 2 years is absolutely crazy. The other 7 weddings have been sprinkled out over the years - some were "family friends" meaning I didn't really know the bride & groom but my parents did. Some were friends I grew up with that tied the knot during college and I think I went to one or two of my babysitters weddings. Out of the nine I've been to in the last 2 years 6 were some of my closest friends from high school & college, 2 of them I was "lucky" enough to be someone's date, and 1 was a family friend. And oh how I wish it ended there. But no, I've already got at least 3 weddings lined up for next year and who knows how many guys will pop the question to the loves of their life over the holidays. Makes my neck hurt.

"Women may fake orgasms sometimes...

But men can fake whole relationships"


(disclaimer, the post below is in no way a shot at any of my ex's - it's simply a trend I've noticed with several of my friends over the last several months and I thought it was blog-worthy and hopefully a little funny - please don't take offense)




Hi-de-ho neighbors. How's THAT quote for a wake-up-call on this beautiful hump day. Yes, my first human interaction this morning was one of my friends calling me and telling me that her MOTHER shared this quote with her. Apparently it's from some play that she saw recently and she thought "ya know what, I'm going to share this with my daughter" because that's not at all awkward. at all.