So, it's 8:30am and I just found out TWO more of my friends just got engaged. In my life, I have been to a total of 16 weddings. And 9 of those have been in the last 2 years. Now I know I'm just a couple of years out of college and we have the first "wave" of weddings right after everyone graduates but seriously?? NINE in TWO years?? Thank God I haven't been IN any of them yet - no 27 dresses story to tell here - but just attending nine in the span of 2 years is absolutely crazy. The other 7 weddings have been sprinkled out over the years - some were "family friends" meaning I didn't really know the bride & groom but my parents did. Some were friends I grew up with that tied the knot during college and I think I went to one or two of my babysitters weddings. Out of the nine I've been to in the last 2 years 6 were some of my closest friends from high school & college, 2 of them I was "lucky" enough to be someone's date, and 1 was a family friend. And oh how I wish it ended there. But no, I've already got at least 3 weddings lined up for next year and who knows how many guys will pop the question to the loves of their life over the holidays. Makes my neck hurt.
Now you might be thinking "Geez, what a cynic! Aren't you happy for your friends? Or are you just bitter because YOU'RE not the one getting married." Yes, Yes, and Yes, to all three. I am kind of a cynic - I mean, how can you seriously know someone so well that you want to marry them by the time you're 22?? who gets married before 30 anymore? (oh wait 6 of my friends) Come on! You can't really know who the love of your life is at such a young age can you? And think of all the things you haven't done with your life yet! How can you be ready to settle down?? Not to mention the divorce rate these days is ugly!
No, all cynicism aside, I truly am happy for my friends who have taken the plunge. The fact that two people can be so in love with each other that they want to spend the rest of their lives together is sweet and wonderful. I mean, my parents were already married for 2 years by the time they were my age so I know it can happen. But I certainly can't imagine that for ME yet because I definitely haven't found the right person yet. Which brings me to bitter:
Yes I'm also a little bit bitter. I'm not really bitter about the fact that they're getting married but the fact that they've found someone that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Of course I have my back-up husband (if, by the time we're both 35 and neither of us have settled down, let's get married!) but that's not my soul-mate, that's not who I truly imagine myself growing old with and starting a family with. And then there's the idea of even BEING married at this point in my life! What??? Me??? Married??? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I can't imagine playing house for REALZ! Going to bed with one person for the rest of my life? Holy skittles I can't even fathom it! I can't imagine being so in love with one person that all others fall by the wayside. I'm sure it's a wonderful feeling but out of the 7 "boyfriends" I've had in my life, not a one of them matches up to the perfect man I've dreamed up in my head when I was a little girl.
I can't tell you how many of my friends are all "OMYGOSH I know EXACTLY what my wedding dress looks like, AND my ring, and the church and the flowers and the band and the cake and the (MAKE MYSELF SICK ALREADY GEEZ)" I cannot imagine ME on my wedding day in the dress, walking down the aisle - much less the groom's face! Haha!
So for now I'm just going to live my single life and enjoy every minute of it. And I guess I just have to suck it up and put on a happy face for all those friends who are about to dive off the cliff in the next year. Truly, I'm happy for you, but I also kind of hate you. (i love you though! but you suck, but seriously you know i love you but you and your wedding suck. i love you.)
Happy Freakin Friday.
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