Thursday, August 12, 2010

And then there was One

So, as I mentioned the other day, I have acquired 3 dates so far from online dating - not bad for being a member for less than 3 weeks, right? And that's after sifting through some of the shadier emails and propositions I've received. But those are for another post, another day. Yep, I've found 3 eligible men who I've at least entertained the idea of meeting and going on a date with. And so far, I've followed through on two of the three. The third is tonight. And I have to say that while the experience has been an interesting one thus far, it hasn't been exactly what I expected it to be. The commercials make everyone look so happy! You see the pretty woman meet the handsome man and shake hands, both with huge smiles on their faces. You just know they instantly click! And then the shot cuts to them, present-day, with arms wrapped around each other, smiling and talking about how they've truly found the love of their lives. Welp, I'm here to let you in on a little secret: That's not how it works.
Sure, maybe after you've made a few rounds but definitely not right off the bat. Let me break-down my experiences thus far, and maybe you'll understand a little better what I'm talking about:

Date #1: Hefty Jeffrey
  • Looks: Has a great smile in his picture. Looks like he might have a little heavier build, but that doesn't really matter to me as long as he cares about his appearance and hasn't completely let himself go. He seemed to be built like my friend J so I didn't think weight would be a problem. Not to mention, I prefer for a guy to be larger than me (either height-wise, build, gerth, bone structure) so I don't feel completely out of place being the little spoon. After meeting in person: disappointment, to say the least. He had some weird gelled hair thing going - but not in your guido-up-do, it was like gelled down...if that's possible. The only thing I can compare it to would be Ralph from the Simpsons:
Photo courtesy of
  • He's put on more than a few pounds since his apparent Army days. No way would they allow him to serve with the extra saddle bags hanging around. And date attire: t-shirt and cargo shorts. And white Adidas sneakers with ankle socks. Now granted we were going to a sporting event so you want to stay cool in this hot weather but...seriously? a t-shirt and cargo shorts that reminded me of the 8th grade? For a date????
  • Personality: We talked on the phone a couple times before the date, and after both admitting that we're new to online dating and that it seems very awkward and strange to be talking to a complete stranger on the phone, we actually had some decent conversation. His job is really interesting and I was able to relate to it on some level (he's in the music business). We talked for about 45 min the first time we ever had a convo and seemed to get along pretty well. I wouldn't say "click" but definitely sparked interest in wanting to meet him. After meeting in person: we had OK conversation but I think I realized we didn't really have much else to talk about than what we'd already discussed over the phone. I tried to be a little flirty to ease his obvious discomfort of sitting at a sporting event with a total stranger but to no avail. We practically sat in silence at the game - a little small talk here and there but I don't even remember what we discussed.
  • All in all - he texted me the next day and said he had a great time. I haven't responded. I'm so bad at telling someone it's just not there. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I don't see it turning in to anything with him. Idk if I'd even be interested in hanging out with him with a bunch of friends.
Date #2: Jim Carrey
  • Looks: Most of his pictures online are not up super close, but I thought I had a pretty good idea of what he looked like. A little dorky but sometimes the dorky ones are the cutest ones because they're funny and sweet, right? And I could tell he was TALL from his pictures - 6'4" to be exact. I've never dated a guy that tall but always find taller men attractive. After meeting in person: Well, he definitely didn't lie about his height! But I kept seeing Jim Carrey circa Dumb & Dumber.
photo courtesy of
  • He had these straight cut bangs across his forehead that didn't quite fit his face correctly. And he had this one tooth that kept distracting me because it was out of place from the others. And his hands were abnormally small for how tall he was. AND, he has the same name as my brother which kind of just gives me the heebie jeebies to begin with. Have you ever thought about that? Making out/hooking up with someone who has the same name as a sibling? Calling out their name? I can't NOT associate my brother with anyone who has the same name as him and that's just NOT cool.
  • Personality: I'll admit, his initial message kind of reeled me in. He took something very specific from my profile and asked me about it in a clever way. I was intrigued. So we had several email communications back and forth before he asked for my number and called me. And our first convo went fairly well. But we talked 3-5 times before our first date and he was already starting to bore me with conversation. He's in grad school right now - which is fine and good but he wanted to tell me every intimate detail about his day at school when we talked. And honestly, I feel like those conversations are reserved for someone you're truly invested in, not a girl you're just getting to know. So I humored him, went on the date and found myself sitting quietly while he did most of the talking, wondering when it was going to end or when he was going to get to the point. Yep, I was quiet - not because I didn't have anything to say, but because he has so much to say that I couldn't get a word in-edgewise. And being a girl, I'm not used to not being able to talk. And being me, I'm not used to not contributing to the conversation. And it was almost surreal, because it's not like JC had a commanding presence, like he owned the room or anything (like my last bf), he was actually quite the opposite. He seemed a little reserved and is definitely a low-talker - not shy, just not an outspoken person. But his stories went on and on and on and seemed like they would never end! When we wrapped up dinner and the server came by, he asked us if we wanted another round - and I absolutely did NOT want to sit there any longer than I had to, but I also didn't think that the date would necessarily be over if we'd gotten the check. So I allowed another round of drinks and couldn't drink it fast enough.
  • All in all: nice guy but I think I'd shoot myself in the foot if I had to sit through another dinner with him by myself.
Which brings us toooo tonight! Date #3: Billy
  • Looks: Well, I don't have a nick name for him yet since I haven't seen him in person, but out of the three, he's definitely the cutest one from his photos. Seems to have thick curly brown hair - almost jew-fro-ish but in a good/Adam Brody/Andy Samberg way.
    photo courtesy of
    photo courtesy of
  • He looks to have an average/normal build, not too thick not too thin, decent height - 5'11 I think, and from his pictures, dresses fairly well. He spent his childhood up north but his teen years to present in Atlanta so there's some hope for him ;) Tonight I'll be able to determine just how photogenic he is and compare it to the real thing. Cross your fingers for positive results.
  • Personality: we only emailed back and forth briefly and superficially - we didn't delve into major deep stuff. He seemed to want to keep it light so we have lots to talk about on our date instead of via email, which I can respect and appreciate. We've talked on the phone twice and it's been light-hearted, fun conversation each time. He asked me on a date during our first convo and wants to take me to dinner and a stand-up show. Honestly, might be one of the best date ideas ever! Humor is important to me in a relationship and this guy clearly has his priorities in sync with mine :) So we spoke a little while longer and he was able to make me laugh without even trying. So tonight, we put that to the test and see if he's really as clever and cute as he seems.
  • All in all: To be determined. Wish me luck!

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