Welp, last night was date number 3 and in my book...it was a success! My third date, who shall here-forth be known as Adam, is adorable and definitely fits the Andy Samberg/Adam Brody look in person, just as he does in his picture. Aside from the fact that we were sweating like whores in church during dinner (thanks to Atlanta's lovely 95% humidity streak and the grand idea to sit outside on the patio), the date was a lot of fun and he actually seemed NORMAL to me! I didn't have to fake a courtesy laugh, he legitimately humored me. And after dinner, the stand-up comedian was pretty entertaining and had me rolling at the end when he started talking about sex jokes.
And I think I was laughing harder than expected because sex jokes make an awkward first date conversation - so I kind of awkwardly glance in his direction when the stand-up is talking about trying to stick it in her ass and she farts on it to essentially turn down sex. I'm dying laughing but then I catch myself. Should I be laughing as hard as I am at this? What is he going to think is the reason for my laughter? Does he think I've DONE that before? Has HE done that before? Why is it funny? Because it just IS when you imagine it? Or is it relatable in some way for him? Or does he think I'm laughing because "oh, been there, done that"? But luckily I think it was just awkward for me internally - because he was laughing too. Which definitely settled my frantic internal monologue. So...after the comedian, we went back to get my car from the restaurant and sat and talked for about 30 minutes. Pretty sure there's promise of another date so yay me! This was NOT a dating disaster!
But for the weekend, I'd like to leave you with another gem from match:
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Hey there. Ilike the prolife, you seem very cool. So, my name is sean - nice to sorta meet you. So, did you rock the shit out of this past weekend??? i mean, it was only like 100 degrees in the shade.. ha. Anything was better then the 2 weeks i just spent in West Virigina training.... Ummm, have you heard that eminem song, "two trailer park girls go around me outside, around me outside, around me outside".... well, i actually think two trailer park girls circled me. Pretty scary! Anyways, you seem pretty interesting. Hope to chat.
Sean
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Hey Sean,
It's sorta nice to meet you too - oh, I mean it's nice to sorta meet you too. Interesting that you found my stance on abortion so compelling that you'd reference it in your email to me. But kind of strange since I'm pretty sure there is absolutely nothing in my profile about being pro-life or pro-choice. Not to say that I'm for or against abortion (a little heavy topic for a first conversation - but to each his own) but I'm wondering if you maybe confused my profile with someone else's? I can't really imagine who would want to talk about being pro-life or pro-choice on their dating profile unless maybe that person went through the tough decision themselves? But that's a whole-lotta heavy to unload right off the bat. And it might scare people away so maybe you table that dinner topic til the 3rd or 4th email. Just a suggestion.
Did I rock the shit out of this past weekend? Well I definitely rocked the shit out of this week! I went to a couple of raves, participated in a girls gone wild video, and then hit the bottle then moved back to the rock last night. One might call it rocking the shit out of the week. I call it a typical work-week.
I pity anyone that has to spend 2 weeks in West Virginia for work. How could you possibly enjoy yourself working when there's so much to DO in WV? Although I guess it sounds like you had your share of fun, based on your emimem reference. Why were they circling you? Were they cannibals??? Or were they men with mullets who looked like women, waiting to mug you??? Or perhaps they were really vampires and planned to suck your body dry but they got too competitive with one another that you were simply cast aside because they became more focused on the fight to attain you than with you, the prey itself. Either way, I sure am glad you survived and decided to message me! Next time you find yourself in such a precarious situation with trailer park girls, bring your pepper spray, and maybe a shank, and some garlic and a cross. Just to be on the safe side.
Have a great weekend!
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