Sunday, November 22, 2009

Live blog from the AMAs

Hello Hello,

I've decided I'm going to live-blog about the Aerican Music Awards because since I've been watching for the last 10 minutes I have to comment on the train-wreck that IS this awards show. Yes, I missed the first hour because I was enjoying Bruno but better late than never. I'm going to leave this completely un-edited so I hope it makes sense and please dont judge the typos and grammatical errors. I'm too exhausted to care.  here we go:

- Kate Hudson, put some clothes on. omg your boob is about to pop out - I can't concentrate on anything else you're saying because your about to show some serious nipple. Seriously IDK who you're introducing but you keep pulling at your sequined dress and it's about to show some major boob.

- Black Eyed Peas - I guess that's who Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson were introducing. OMG this sounds horrible. I can't hear the music only the vocals. Um...please stay on pitch Fergie. PCBH just said she's about to have a seizure from the lights and terrible vocals blaring from the screen. Ok, it's ending. Wait, no it's not, there's more - oh Boom Boom Boom. Worst song of the summer. It's one of those things that gets stuck in your head and never get out. FML. Ugh it sounds terrible! Fergie, get back on key dear. AND it's over, thank god.

-Best R&B Male Artist: hmmm, any guesses as to who might win this one? I'm sure you're shocked to hear that MJ won.

-Zach Brown Band - how I love your music but how I wish you were shave your beards. Fave country male artist: Keith Urban - has a pocket-wallet chain. seriously? what is that? whoa tatoo - that's kind of hot, on your chest and your arm. I guess I havent looked at Keith in a while - oh shit he just said his award is for nicole and sunday - is sunday really what he named his daughter? ugh dont get me started on celebrity names.

-Someone I don't Recognize and Demi Lovato - holy crap she looks like one of my friends who moved to chicago recently. Female R&B artist, I wonder who could win this one? I dont even need to see who's nominated. Beyonce, of course.

- Rihanna's come-back to the stage and the music world. What the hell is this?Is that HER body that has all those contraptions stuck to it -ewww this reminds me of the matrix. gross. and here she is, spinning. hmm. that can't be easy to sing upside down. whoa stripes. her outfit is seriously strips of fabric covering the appropriate nipple areas and va-jay-jay spots. and what's with the tatoo up to her neck? when did she get that? and why is she practically blonde now? and the spikes...hmm, not so sure about that. God Rihanna, you're so beautiful, why do you look like a jail-bird? oh wow, the spikes are actually laser pointers. like this would be every nerd's dream come true, to have lasers coming off their clothes pointing in all directions. idk what thats about. Rihanna looks pleased with herself and her performance. Good for her.

- um commercial break: a toddler shot and killed himself on the news?? wtf??? how sad!!!

- Rascal Flatts, whoa the echo in that auditorium is terrible. Oh but hos I love Carrie Underwood!!! Performance of Cowboy Casanova, OMG. Love it already! Damn her legs look amazing, LOVE the shoes. she is seriously SO pretty I hate her for it, but i love her.  haha why did they just show paula abdul? i guess the am idol reference? haha thats funny. damn carrie is impressive with those vocals. who is that fucker? my roommate just said it was adam lambert, idk who that is. hmm...

- on to Lady GaGa - Sophia will be excited about this performance. hahahahahahahahha body suits - so unattractive - holy crap, idk how to even describe this - she looks like a cone head. they just did some thriller stuff there - PCBH says these are suppsed to be animal bones? um...this is just disturbing. she looks like she's wearing christamas lights. whats above her crotch? that's extremely distracting. some kind of prop? maybe she's going to fly later and thats a harness of some sort? we're hoping so. and she just broke a bunch of glass? to play the piano, WHAT THE FUCK? and there are flames on the piano - is this an exorcism? I'm pretty sure that's a fire hazard. whoa cooter shot - gaga is spread eagle on the the piano and just pretended to shoot a gun with her fingers. i gotta give it to her though she does have a kick-ass voice. PCHB wonders if she's lip syncing. quite possible. seriously??? she just broke 2 glass bottles on the piano. make that three. you'd think she was getting in a bar fight. 4 bottles. ugh creepy ending. this makes me want to NOT go to that concert. Sorry Sophia.

- perez hilton - speechless? never! his hair reminds me of tinkerbell. haha.

-Jeremiah, Cutty, Drizzy? Idk who these people are - Mary J Blige is on the stage though. I dont think I know any of her new stuff. PCBH passionately hates her dress. I dont mind it minus the sequins at the top. i think she can pull it off. she has animal print spots in her hair though. we need to stop the train there. i wish i knew this song. its always more fun when you know the songs. i got nothin for this one though.

-Colbie Callait - thats a fun dress. whoa lady gaga your dress is out of control w/ that collar!! Gloriana won. Who is that?? is it country? this is a breakthrough artist song - um. these guys have some crazy gelled hair. and the last girl who spoke looked like she had one too many martinis earlier.

- JLo "Loubitan" - hahahaha, Sophia and I listened to this last night - its horrible. and J-lo is walking in like she's going to wrestle-mania. hmm...this might be the most repetitive song - worse than black eyed peas and tha'ts saying something. Her legs look terrible. actually I'd say her whole lower body - that outfit is just extremely unflattering. haha and the back up dancers are hilarious, and J-Lo just fell, like busted ass, EPIC FAIL but she did get right back up! good for her! and now she's just changed clothes and shoes of course. whoa hips though, not needed w/ an ass like that. sorry dear. oh marc anthony - showing support for his wifey. love it. the Loubitons were really cute that she put on at the end. so good for that too.

- And Whitney takes the stage. She actually looks pretty good - not as emaciated as past performances! that's a plus!Gotta love the choir in the background - love the busty black women beltin out the chorus. And a single tear drop falls from Reba McIntyre's face. the dress is a little tight on whitney htough - if it wasnt white it wouldnt be so bad...yikes. ok i shouldnt be talking because she looks better than i would in that dress for damn sure. and she's stroking her award. whoa there. please stop that. Say your thank you's and get off the stage please. ok, good.

Ugh i'm so tired, i dont want to stay up for another hour for this. I'm going to try and muster up the strength though.

- Female country artist: toss up for Carrie or Taylor for me. of course Taylor Swift wins. grr. idk who she's standing with these hair cuts are out of control in london - seriously one guy has a mullet. and the other has terrible spiky hair.

- pop rock male artist: T.I, Eminem or MJ? I wonder...I dont even need to say it, do I? 23 AMAs won - broke a record tonight.

Ok kids, I can't stay up anymore, I gotta turn in. hope you enjoyed this 1st time live-blog experience.

Til next time

B

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