Shut up and PAY ATTENTION!

What are YOU doing this coming December? Yes, all of December. Ok, I'll give you the few days around Xmas and NYE off because I guess *family* is important. And as for God's chosen people, you can take your Chaunaka (I still don't know how to spell that) but keep SOME time in December open. Especially if you're single. And especially if you're a lady. *Why?* you ask. Because Berryfine and I have stumbled upon something spectacular. Jess and Becky of WTFisupwithmylovelife are coming to ATLANTA in December!!! And they want to interview YOU and ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is of course, if you're cultivating a Gaggle.

Happy Hump Day Indeed: "I'm Fantastic in Bed"

A friend of mine passed this along to me and I simply had to share - it's so hilarious and totally hits on the true definition of Marketing. Enjoy!

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's direct marketing…

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's advertising…

Back in the saddle...

Well, not quite "the saddle" per se. But yes...I'm going on another "blind" date tonight. Since Chandler pulled the slow fade and I've heard nothing but radio silence for 2 weeks now, I've decided that I'm ready for a new dating prospect. I've purged myself of Chandler and my wishful thinking that his phone just died or some other lame excuse - he is no more and I'm over it.

So instead, I'm going to meet Will tonight. I really don't know much about him yet except that he's a band teacher and has a passion for music (Will Shuster anyone? Glee? I know Glee Club isn't the same as band but level with me here). Now I never took band in high school or anything but I do have a passion for music. I'm just hoping he doesn't reek of band-geekiness.

Oof, where have I been...?

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted. My b. All 6 of my followers are probably outraged that I've been MIA...so where have I been? I'll tell you. I've been workin. Like a Doge-uh. (can anyone else take a shot at spelling that phrase the way Paul Rudd actually says it in I Love You, Man? Didn't think so so stop judging me.)

Last week shit got super crazy at work. Like, crazier than it's been in a LONG time. I worked til 7pm 3 nights last week and that's just unheard of. Not that I'm complaining or anything - it's great to be busy, but holy hell. I've just been go-go-go. And then of course Friday, I got to see 2 of my favorite things in the world come together:

The Friend Zone Part 1

Everyone knows the Nice Guy, right? That guy who seems to always be the one you can call on after your boyfriend dumps you. The one who will pick up your bar tab even though there's not a shot in hell that you'd go home with him. The guy who you can totally be your worst self around and he'll still adore you. He's just so nice. He compliments you and might even shower you with gifts on your birthday. He treats your friends nicely. He's just...Nice. And in the words of Ryan Reynolds, if you're the Nice Guy, you've just become the "non-sexual entity to her and she'll never see you as more than a friend."

Serial Killers vs Fairy Tales

Well, I really thought I'd developed a good read on this one. But apparently I was wrong. Pretty sure Chandler is a serial killer. You remember my theories on serial killers, right? And maybe I'm just telling myself he's a serial killer to help me sleep better at night. (Wait, does that even make sense...? actually it does) Surely it isn't anything I've done that would be the reason he hasn't called/texted/emailed me in a week, right??? He's just emotionally and physically incapable of continuing to pursue me because he realizes just how much he likes me and how perfect I am for him, therefore, he must "systematically and methodically kill every real opportunity at a relationship".

West Coast Woes

It feels like deja vu all over again. Most of you will remember back in May when the most devastating of all devastations hit me: my biffle moved to Los Angeles. It was a sad day that literally made me cry when I met her at the airport to say goodbye. Sophia was off to sunny california to pursue the fashion world by attending FIDM, landing a killer internship and working for Michael Kors in the process. All whilst gallivanting with beautiful celebrities in a little place I like to call Paradise. Sophia would be the seventh of my close close friends who moved away from Hot-lanta in the last year. I'm starting to think that I either suck as a friend or I smell really bad. J-baz moved to the beach in Charleston, Coffaro headed back home to Cincy, Patty took off for Saint Diaaaago. Megs moved to Oregon for grad school and her boyfriend, Catherine hit the Big Apple and Wendy moved to Missouri. And now, my best friend in the whole world, Erin is moving to San Fran.

Ask the Office Guy

Do any of you subscribe to Daily Candy? I'm not even sure how I got subscribed to it but I get emails pretty much every day from them. Most of the time, I don't really read through them but today's email caught my eye. It was titled: "10 Writers we'd like to cozy up with". I've really been on a reading kick recently and there are tons of books that are on my list that I haven't gotten around to yet. So I actually took the time to read the email today. But that's not really the point of this post. Down at the bottom of the email there was this link to an article that said "How long do I wait to facebook him?". In today's age, everyone facebooks each other the day after they meet, sometimes within the hour that they meet even - yes, we are an extremely narcissistic generation who believes our self-worth is proclaimed through the number of facebook friends we have. That's just how we work. And we also secretly want to facebook stalk the cutie we just met as soon as we can get to a secluded area with dim lighting.

Facial Hair, Good or Bad?

In honor of this past weekends Georgia victory (41-14, whatup!) and the 2nd annual Stache Out weekend that carried on alongside it, I got to thinking about facial hair on a man, and what I like and dislike about it. There's something extremely creepy and child-molestor-esque about a moustache. But I can definitely support it for a day if it's synonymous with Georgia winning against Tennessee (or any other SEC team for that matter). But any other time, I'm not really a fan of the moustache. There are only a select few men who can pull off Just the Stache.

Who would YOU go gay for?

Last night I went to B-dubs to watch some football and to watch the Braves get their ass handed to them on a silver platter. And somewhere around beer number 4, someone brought up hot celebrities and...well it's all a bit fuzzy from there. We began discussing who we would go gay for and the first person named was Angelina Jolie. And I don't know if it was the number of beers I'd already consumed or the fact that she just pisses me off in general (JAnniston, I've always got your back), but I made a sour face and said "gross".

The Game: To play or not to play?

So I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket and I don't want to jinx myself like I talked about last week but I'm beginning to feel more and more like my new-found love-interest is taking on a larger role in my life than I expected him to at this point. And it's hard to transition. You know, you go from like single-ready-to-mingle, I-live-only-for-myself-and-don't-have-to-answer-to-anyone - to all of a sudden being like i-should-invite-him-to-my-non-profit-event-in-3-weeks-just-to-get-it-on-his-calendar-holy-shit-what-am-i-saying-that's-three-weeks-away! It's quite unnerving.

My love life is like a box of chocolates

Tis true. You really never know what you're gonna get.

Thank you Forrest Gump. Wise words my friend. Wise words.

For those of you who've been keeping up with my e-dating disasters, you may be wondering why I haven't touched on this subject in almost a month. Welp, you've been patient long enough and I suppose it's about time that I fill you in on my newest dating endeavor.