Monday, December 13, 2010

Here's Why I'm Just Not That Into You...

I don't know about anyone else, but I cannot WAIT to see Love & Other Drugs. I just might go watch it tomorrow night after work. Even if it's by myself. Yes, I know, this movie has been out since Thanksgiving and, where have I been, right? Well, if you've noticed, I haven't exactly posted anything since before Thanksgiving, much less have I had time to go to the movies. But I just read an interesting post from Jewels  which reminded me that I have yet to see this movie. So there. My cousin, Sara told me that it was awesome - but probably not the best movie to watch with your mother (which she did) unless you have a very open communication style and trade sex tips. If you know me AT ALL, you know that's not the kind of relationship I have with my mom. But I want to see it nonetheless.

I found Jewels' post fascinating because it hits on a subject that I've touched on, several times, over the past year. Technology and the dating world. Love and Other Drugs is set in the 90s, when Viagra was first being introduced to the world and if we all go back in time to the 90s, we'll likely remember that technology was pretty unadvanced, compared to where it is today. Of course, if we go back to my original Chivarly: is it dead post - I've realized that I mis-spoke in one regard. I have a strong disapproval of the 90s in that original post. Primarily because women were all about taking charge in the relationship, thus ruining the act of courting on the male's part and causing women to ultimately settle for unacceptable behavior from their male suitors by making it too easy. Not to say that women shouldn't be strong and independent, but we gave up the game with men. We ultimately changed the dating game by being the pursuers rather than continuing to be pursued. Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. But the 90s did have one strong thing going for it: the lack of cell phones, and furthermore, the non-existent option of texting. Sure there were some bag phones and car phones but those were rare and plans were expensive. Thus the option of mass texting 10 girls at once to see if one of them would hook up with you that night, was not really an option. Hell, phones at that point only kept 10 numbers total in their phones! A guy had to really put some effort behind getting a girl to go out with him. (Unless she was the one wearing the pants and asked him out. but I digress...) And as for email - well AOL and AIM were still operating on dial-up modems and while that option was available to many people, the chance that someone in your household would pick up the landline phone and cut you off before Johnny got the chance to ask you out was highly probable. People were much more likely to actually pick up the phone and page you (omg do you remember pagers!?) so that they COULD talk to you, or call you just to talk, compared to today.

And that really irks me. I mean, of course I respond to texts but if that's your primary form of communication, your chances of making any head-way with me are slim unless you start calling me. The amount of effort you put into communicating with me is directly proportional to the amount of effort I'll expend to make you happy. And maybe that seems unfair but I think your lack of enthusiasm to want to talk to me on the phone or in person shows exactly how interested you really are. As per He's Just Not That Into You: "Alex: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you." Ultimately meaning, he's not that interested, and thus, why should I even play into his little game of texting if he's not that interested to begin with? All he's really hoping for is that I'll make it easy on him and he won't have to work that hard to get me. I'll be the 90s version of the "modern woman" and serve myself up on a silver platter. No thank you. I deserve better than that. All of my friends do too. Technology is not SO advanced that calling has become obsolete and no longer an adequate form of conversation. Calling is and always has been the best option as long as I've been alive and likely as long as you've been alive (if there was ever a time in your life where calling wasn't an option when you were younger, then you're WAY too old for me so let's just move on, shall we?). People gravitate towards personal relationships - we need it to survive. And in today's busy world when we're all running around and stretched too thin - a phone call is necessary to keep a personal relationship going - especially when a face-to-face interaction isn't always possible. I don't want to have a conversation via text message, written in all abbreviations. Pick up the damn phone, search for me in your contacts and hit call. Otherwise, I'm simply not going to be that into you.

1 comment:

  1. Amen sistah! I was experience just last night. Ive been talking to a newbie & it's been nothing but texting. Well last night - right on cue, he begins to text. I bite the bullet and picked up the damn phone & called his ass instead of texting back. I stated my case "if you actually want to get to know me, we are going to have an actual conversation!" Lets see what happens. But bottom line, texting is ok to an extent but a phone call is so much more personable. Let me know how the movie is. I wanna go see it too but havent been able to make it either!

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