So a couple weeks ago, I was getting psyched to be a "Have-Knot" at a wedding coming up - and don't get me wrong, I still am psyched. The wedding is a short 12 days away and I'm quite looking forward to the festivites. But yesterday the weight of being 25 and single kind of hit me like a sledge-hammer and it didn't bode well for my mood. I decided to compensate for it by drinking margaritas on a sunday night. Probably not the best way to kick-off the week, but I supposed they don't call it Sunday Funday for nothing, right?
I don't know what happened but the weight of being single enveloped me yesterday and I started to have a minor freak out. Not that I'm not happy for all of my friends who seem to have found their plus one, but sometimes, I just can't help but feel left behind. And I sort of resent the guys who have taken my girl-friends away from me, even though I know it's making them happy to be with them. Lil and I had a long talk last night about all of this and it made me feel a little bit better about my situation but I still couldn't help but feel slightly left out. After all, Lil has a boyfriend too so as much as she could sympathize with me, the empathy was still lacking because she's not presently in my shoes.
To make matters worse, I had a very strange dream last night that involved a lot of my guy friends - both ones that have always been platonic and ones that have been not-so-platonic at one point in my life. But in the dream, they all fell into the friend zone. I wasn't romantically involved with any of them and it was almost as if they were sexually ambiguous to me. I loved everyone equally and in an extremely platonic way - even my super attractive guy friends. I wasn't sure, when I woke up, if I had been pleased that there were no romantic ties, or if I had been struggling in the dream to try and break through the monotony of the friend zone. That part of the dream was very fuzzy, but I know that I woke up very confused and a little ticked off, so my guess is I was trying to break through the monotony with someone and couldn't.
I got to thinking this morning, as I got ready for work, that what I really need is a real-life Barney Stinson in my life. I'm talking, the original. Pre-relationship-with-Robin-Barney. I'm talking about this guy:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/18318/how-i-met-your-mother-best-friend-barney?c=6:81
SO true! I don't need to start actually thinking about getting married til I'm at least 30, right? And I know I've said this before but seriously? What's the rush? Other than the fact that my ovaries will start to dry up shortly after 30...but I mean, surely science can fix that in the next 5 years, right? Why is everyone in such a rush? I just get so overwhelmed and feel like I'm doing it all wrong when so many of my friends are light-years ahead of me in the relationship department. But I know, it's all about "timing". And Rose and Lil even said to me last night that "it'll happen when you least expect it" and I get that, but I really feel like I'm the rule in this case, not the exception. I need a Barney Stinson to remind me that marriage should be the furthest thing from my mind right now. I need to just enjoy my singledom and wear it with pride.
Anyway, so yes, I had a little bit of a freak-out yesterday over all of this stuff, but I've decided that I really am going to celebrate my singleversary this year, assuming I'm still single by the time I want to throw this party, which - let's face it, we all know I will be. It'll be Labor Day weekend. Anyone is invited as long as they bring a potential hottie to make out with and/or booze. I'll provide cupcakes and jello-shots. And I'm going to register at Target, Bloomindales and Michael Kors. You're welcome.
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