Serial Killers vs Fairy Tales

Well, I really thought I'd developed a good read on this one. But apparently I was wrong. Pretty sure Chandler is a serial killer. You remember my theories on serial killers, right? And maybe I'm just telling myself he's a serial killer to help me sleep better at night. (Wait, does that even make sense...? actually it does) Surely it isn't anything I've done that would be the reason he hasn't called/texted/emailed me in a week, right??? He's just emotionally and physically incapable of continuing to pursue me because he realizes just how much he likes me and how perfect I am for him, therefore, he must "systematically and methodically kill every real opportunity at a relationship".

It sucks but that's life. Chandler was not the one. And that's totally fine. It is rather frustrating though, especially when, within the past 2 weeks two of my best friends have pretty much entered relationship-zone and here I am, after a month of dating Chandler, back at square one. So, I did what any girl in my situation would do and I got back on match. Mind you, my subscription hasn't ended yet so it's not like I re-signed up, I just finally got back on after a month + of going on a match.com hiatus. And yes, I looked at Chandler's profile one last time. For nostalgia's sake, and to see if he's been "online" recently. It's been 3 weeks for him. Which doesn't help the unanswered questions in my head. But I just have to accept it and move on. NEXT!

So I've still been getting emails and winks from guys, and I checked out my "daily 5" today...that again, I haven't checked in over a month. And the options were decent. I was pleasantly surprised. But I'm just not sure if online dating is the way to go anymore or not. I've been out with what, 6 guys from match? And have any of them yielded a life-changing moment for me yet? Nope. I did have a great time with Chandler while it lasted. Memorable dates for sure. And like I said, I've never dated someone with a full-on beard before so that's now marked off the bucket list, but is online really the way to go? My 3 month subscription is almost up. And I don't think I'm extending it. I just need to enlist my girlfriend's new boyfriends's friends to go on dates I suppose. And Leigh has said it best: I pray for God to put the man He wants in my life. I love that. And I totally respect it. And all this really means is that I need to start cultivating my gaggle again.

This past weekend I started to realize what it is that I want, by watching one of my guy friends interact with his girlfriend. It was a simple interaction, really. We're having brunch and without asking or saying anything, he poured her a glass of water from the pitcher on our table. It was simple, not really romantic or life-changing, but as I watched this little interaction take place, I couldn't help but feel completely jealous and depressed and swoon and yearn for a relationship like theirs all at the same time. It was a cute little gesture that really meant absolutely nothing. It was just something considerate and thoughtful. Seriously? Just pouring a pitcher of water made me yearn for a relationship like theirs? WTF? I think it was actually more than that, just seeing them interact all weekend made me want a guy like him. Not him, of course, but a guy like him. You could just tell that he would do anything to take care of her. And it was adorable. And I think that, mixed with the lack of communication from Chandler just really hit home.

To make matters worse, I come home yesterday after brunch and I find my roommate had a late night visitor the night before. It's 2:30 in the afternoon and he's still in her bed. And he's someone that I am totally a fan of for her. I don't know him super well yet but the time I have spent with him thus far has been positive. He's smart and funny and seems like a genuine guy. And of course, I do what any good roommate would do and I put him to a little test. In actuality, I didn't plan for it to really be a test but after it happened I was like "wow, he passed with flying colors and I wasn't even trying to trip him up." I jumped into bed with the two of them and watched football. What??? I know. It sounds weird. But I was just in need of some roommate love because brunch had clearly made me depressed and so I wanted someone to cuddle with and make me feel better about my life so I jumped into bed with them and watched football. Afterwards, when my roommate decided to finally take him back to his car, she asked him/apologized for me jumping into bed with them and he was like "No, it was fine. I thought it was really sweet, she clearly misses you and wanted to spend time with you. it was totally fine." You, sir just got an A++ in my book. And then my roommate proceeds to tell me just about the cutest love story in the world and how they're going on a date this week and I swoon once again and have feelings of depression/jealousy/butterflies for her all at the same time. It about sounded like it came out of a movie, but so did Leigh's experience the week before. Where's MY fairy tale?

I know, I know, "It happens when you're not looking." "When the time is right, you'll meet someone." "It will happen when you least expect it." Screw you and your cliches.

Ok, I get it. I need to stop looking. But it's impossibly hard to do that when all of your friends are pairing off. Let's compare stories, shall we?

Leigh and her guy: met in Louisiana several months ago. He was living there at the time but moving to Atlanta in a couple months. So she said to call her when he was heading this way. He did. They've been hanging out for over a month but they're not exclusive (i.e. they can go on other dates, kiss other people, but if one of them wants to sleep with someone else, they need to talk about where things are headed) and then last weekend he kissed someone else, actually had the decency to tell her about it and proceeded to tell her that the the kiss made him realize he doesn't want to be with anyone else but her. How fucking adorable, right?

Another one of my friends met his girlfriend at a wedding last year. He caught the garter, she caught the bouquet. Can you BE any more adorable?? Slash gag me with a spoon because it's so fucking perfect.

And then of course my roommate and her new guy. He tells her he really likes her, asks her if it's ok to kiss her, spends an entire night talking and cuddling without expecting to receive ANY action and he's totally ok with it. And he's taking her out on a date this week. AND he's a Husker fan, which is why he and my roommate met. (She's a die-hard Husker fan).

And let's not even talk about Nicole and her new guy - which I don't even have details on yet. I'm sure it'll be another one for the books.  I swear to all that is holy that if another one of my friends pairs off in the next week, I'll probably rip my hair out. So stay tuned for a shit show at the end of the week. I know I'm looking forward to it. That being said, I really truly do love my friends and I'm so happy for them! It's just hard to watch everyone pair off when you're back at square one. I'd absolutely LOVE to be single and loving it right now, but as the months get colder, all I really want is to have someone to snuggle with at the end of the day. Yep, I'll say it...I'm lonely. And I don't like it.

And Sophia and Berryfine...if either of you email me with stories of you finding a man in the last 48 hours, I really might have a nervous breakdown. Just an FYI.