Abbrevs are Totes the Best Evs

Ok, for anyone who knows me in a non-professional setting, you know that I'm a big fan of abbreviations in every-day conversation. I can remember back in high school when I found it extremely annoying that everyone and their mother came up with shortened versions of their names. So instead of Lindsey it was Linds. Instead of Jackie it was Jax. and on, and on. And I was probably PO'ed because my name was one syllable and therefore couldn't be shortened but, whatevs. Now, I have an appreesh for the abbrevs. Because people STILL continuously speak in this language and they are being 100 percent serious when they do it. And I have an extremely strong urge to make fun of these people in order to cover up any insecurities I might have about myself. Because they sound absolutely ridiculous. AND because that's what comedians do, right? They make fun of people and things to deflect any negative light that might fall upon them in order to feel better about themselves. (Zack Morris Time Out!!!!
I am in no way saying that I could possibly be lumped into the same category of "funny" as actual comedians. I'm not that haughty, nor do I think I'm that funny. So when I say "that's what comedians do" it's more of "Blaire wants to join the cool-kids club and this is what she aspires to be one day (comedy writer and/or performer). But since that's not true yet, apparently this is a dream for her and you're a part of her psyche and you didn't even know it. And now I'm totally blowing your mind. Whatup." Zack Morris Time IN!!!!!)

So how did this whole abbrevs thing start? Well if we want to start WAY back at the beginning, it didn't start in conversation - no no. It began when America Online was born. Remember the days when you were 11 or 12 and you'd sit at your computer and log on to AOL and sit and wait...and sit and wait some more...until you'd finally hear a plethora of annoying connection signals that sounded like Darth Vadar skinning a cat? And God forbid one of your parents or your little sister pick up the landline phone at the exact moment that the AOL Running Man said "Connected!" I hated when that happened! Anyway, so when you actually DO connect, what did you do? You immediately went into some chat room with your "friends" (aka acetheman33425345345, who you like, met online last night who's, like, 17, and like, lives in Kansas, but like, is totally going to come to Georgia when he like graduates in May, like...riiiight). I'm not even going to get into the fact that your "friend" was probably a 45 year old child molestor - for another day and time my friends, for another day and time. So one person makes a joke and it's all LOL!!!!!!!1, then all of a sudden, someone has to leave the chatroom and says BRB. And Abbrevs were born. Instant Messaging caused my generation to begin to abbreviate everything so that you could type faster AND keep the conversations "coded" if you will. Because you could cuss in code and if for some reason your parents found the conversation they wouldn't know what it meant, right? like KAB (kick-ass-bitch). As a result, most high-school aged kids now cannot spell to save their lives. So instead of "what's up?" "Oh not much here, you?" it turned into: "wuzzup?" (thankyou Bud Light commercial) "O, nmh, u?". This art of spelling became even more prevalent once text messaging came around. And then, somewhere between 2002 and 2005, text-talking was born (or that's what i'm calling it). Everyone pretty much would say aloud the typical LOL, BRB, LMFAO, TTYL. Then around 2006/2007, a line was crossed:



WU? OMG, INDB! IDK My BFF Jill? TISNF! Granted, Cingular was making a joke and trying to sell unlimited texting plans, but seriously, that's a whole new level there. AND, that girl looks like she's maybe 10 years old. So me, at the ripe old age of 21 when this commercial aired, was blown away by that commercial and the abbrevs. Then of course, it transitioned into literally abbreviating certain words, not acronyming entire sentences. I can remember back in college, watching the amazing show that IS The Hills, and hearing the abbrevs fly out of LC's mouth more often than the uncomfortable awkward stares in every episode. There was "obvi" and "whatevs" and "ridic", and you better believe Serena and I ATE that UP! We know that we sound absolutely ridiculous saying shit like that but it was funny at the time - who am I kidding, it still is! And people will 100% think that you actually speak this way in every-day-life. And I'm sure I've met some people that truly believe I'm an abbrevs-whore. But I simply love to act as though I'm an abbrevs-whore just to get people to laugh and think "omg she actually talks like that". I understand this is all-sorts-of-effed-up, and perhaps is the lack of sleep I've gotten over the past week and a half that has me not making any sense, but oh well.

This past Sunday Funday was filled with a good hour of straight abbrevs with my friend Wesley. He has a fascination with abbrevs as well and we are each other's gold-mines when it comes to new ones. Totes, Natch, Deets, Ridic, Brill, Vids, Amaze, Abs, Delish, BTDubs, Craz, Maj Dramz, For Sers, Mos Def, My Fav, Hund Cal, So Jeal, Whatevs, Evs, Obvi, Convo, As Per Yooge, Biffles (to the max), Yest, and the list goes on...and on...and on...

And on Sunday we def had an entire convo using just abbrevs and peeps may or may not have looked at us like we were totes magotes craz. But whatevs, that's ok. Bc our convo was brill dude. For sers. And I know everyone else was totes jeal to the max.

And THEN, 2b1b this week has been using abbrevs. But not on purpose. Meg had this awesome story called "Sorr about the bag". And Tulane Chris may or may not use this phrase in every day convo, kind of like I use all other abbrevs. Anyway, I totes got a huge kick out of the fact that Meg was abbreving "sorry" and not eves on purps! Sophia and I had a nice long laugh about this last night over dinner and drinks. And it just makes me love 2b1b even more than I already did.

N-E-Way, it's totest Fri and I'm outtie. Gtg, ttyl! HAGW!
B