Everyone has a Superficial Side...

Here's mine.

So Soph and I were g-chatting this afternoon, and ya know what really gets under my skin? Well, several things actually but specifically: when people are perpetually late. And it's not just late to meet me or one or two people (although that irks me too), I'm talking hold-up-the-whole-group-and-have-some-lame-excuse-as-to-why-you're-late people. I mean, with a large group of people, it's inevitable that one or two people will be running a little behind, but when someone is 30 minutes late and we lose a reservation over it? NOT ok. I typically tell these people to be there at least 20 minutes earlier than the rest of the group just so we all get seated on time. And not once has that person surprised me by being early so kudos to me for thinking ahead.

Ya know what else I hate?
Feet. Feet must be the absolute most disgusting part of the human anatomy. ever. period. my friend k-rad used to annoy the hell out of me in senior year physics by taking off her shoe in the middle of class and trying to rub my leg with it (that sounds a lot more perverted than it really was) - her foot would be all sweaty in the sock from her shoes and I would have to quietly squirm in my seat to get away from her without having the teacher notice and yell at me. Ugh so disgusting. It makes my neck hurt.

I also REALLY don't like when people wear clothes that absolutely do not fit them. Seriously? Either lose the weight or buy larger clothes. Don't try to think yourself thin and pretend you can wear a size 6 when you're clearly a 12. And this goes for all body parts: boobs, ass, stomach, arm fat, back fat, love handles, thighs, cankles, etc. Which brings me to FUPAs. :::shudder::: ugh. sick. I saw the grossest FUPA the other day when I was eating lunch. I immediately lost my appetite and could no longer finish my meal. I leaned over to my friend and said "if I ever end up with one of those, just go ahead and kill me, please." because no one is going to want to look at that every day, much less sleep with it...yes I know I'm being harsh. No I'm not PMSing, just very opinionated today.

Bronzer "beauties". I feel like I've seen more photos of orange people in the last week than I ever have in my life. And maybe it's because all the college kids are back from spring break and they're posting fb pictures. Maybe it's because I've spent too much time laughing at this site (which seems to have a plethora of orange people), or, i don't know why else, but seriously, the orange fake-tan look has got to go. You look like an oompa loompa, just stop. You look ridiculous!

Random sketchy men who think you have nothing better to do with your night than talk to them. Last Saturday, after seeing all my friends from home, I went to meet up for a friend's birthday at Stout. So I get there, say my hello's to everyone I know at the bar, and then I head over TO the bar to get a beer. I squeeze in between about a foot of space to put my order in and I'm standing awkwardly, waiting to be waited on. And there's a man, probably about 48 years old, to my right who strikes up conversation with me. And he was British. Not in that sexy James Bond kind of way, but more in that you-have-awful-teeth-and-I-can't-understand-what-the-fuck-you're-saying-to-me kind of way. And he starts talking about music or god-knows-what and I keep missing the bartender! Excuse me but I am NOT here to just sit and make small talk with you! Why would I come into a bar to NOT get a drink? So I finally get my order in and pay for my beer, and this man just keeps on keepin on. I'm looking over his head trying to signal to a friend to come save me but no one is coming to my rescue. So...I do what any sweet, southern girl would do in that situation and excuse myself to the ladies room. Then, once I'm out of his sight, I beeline it for my friends. Because there's no way in hell i'm going to sit there and waste my evening talking to a man who's old enough to be my father! No thank you! (no offense to anyone who married someone their dad's age, just not my cup of tea gov'nah<-- did you see what I just did there? Tea? British guy? God I'm good...or severely exhausted, you pick).

Well, that's going to do it for today - I'm sure I'll have more to bitch about another day but on that note, I hope you all have a wonderful Friday and enjoy this amazing weather! I'm outtie! (RIP Brittany Murphy)

-Blairificous