Ask the Office Guy

Do any of you subscribe to Daily Candy? I'm not even sure how I got subscribed to it but I get emails pretty much every day from them. Most of the time, I don't really read through them but today's email caught my eye. It was titled: "10 Writers we'd like to cozy up with". I've really been on a reading kick recently and there are tons of books that are on my list that I haven't gotten around to yet. So I actually took the time to read the email today. But that's not really the point of this post. Down at the bottom of the email there was this link to an article that said "How long do I wait to facebook him?". In today's age, everyone facebooks each other the day after they meet, sometimes within the hour that they meet even - yes, we are an extremely narcissistic generation who believes our self-worth is proclaimed through the number of facebook friends we have. That's just how we work. And we also secretly want to facebook stalk the cutie we just met as soon as we can get to a secluded area with dim lighting.

We want to find out who our mutual friends are, look at his photos to see if he's that crazy party guy or if he's in several pictures with that one girl over and over again who happens to be really attractive even though his status is "single". But personally, I've found myself holding back on the facebook friend request when it comes to a new guy that I see as potential dating material. Part of it is pride - I don't want to be the one to request it, I don't want to act like I care about that stuff. And part of it is that it's SO invasive into a person's life. Am I ready for them to know that much about me? Do I want to know that much about him?

So in this little Daily Candy segment of "How long do I wait to facebook him?" I discovered Ask The Office Guy. There are a series of 30-40 second videos where the Office Guy, Dan answers the female populations most mind-boggling questions about the opposite sex. So I indulged. I listened to Dan tell us that when you're first getting to know someone, you should wait to facebook them. Once you open the world of facebook to someone, they'll know everything about you from your cousin's baby spitting up to your farmville status (sidebar - seriously, if a guy had farmville on his facebook, the relationship would be over). So Dan believes that until you have a relationship "locked down", you should wait for that facebook request. Because at that point, you should already know the weird things about their lives that the rest of your friends know about you. Or at least, the majority of it.

So, naturally, I was intrigued. It all seems so common sense, but I think women, or at least, I, get blind-sided sometimes. Usually, after a couple of weeks, if I haven't gotten a request from him, then I'll request - but only if I've continued to see the person. If i meet them once and never see or talk to them again, then usually my own curiosity has wained and I don't care anymore. So I began to look at the other titles of videos that good ole Dan wanted to share with us and of course, I picked the one that's most relevant to my current situation: "How long should I wait to have "the talk"?"

It's an question as old as time - or at least it seems that way for my generation. I've touched on this subject in the past - you remember, right? Granted, when I first touched on it, I was in a much different place than I am now, but some of my sentiments remain the same. You can't "hang out" with someone for 8 months and never have "the talk". It simply means you both are two big pussies who don't deserve to even be in a relationship and you're pretty much doomed. But that entry didn't really give you much more than that, except to man-up and say something or hit the road. But how do you know when it's time to have "the talk"? You obviously don't want to rush it, but you also don't want to get to that point where you've dated for too long and suddenly it feels like friends with benefits, right? Well, Ask the Office Guy answers our question with only slight ambiguity. He tells us that when we find ourselves, in our apartment, on a friday night, with our man, and both of us would rather stay in and order chinese and watch a movie, than go out somewhere, it's time to have "the talk". I can respect that. I can actually whole-heartedly get behind that. And what's funny is that my ex and I really never did that. The only time I can think of that we stayed in was to watch football, with 10 of our closest friends. So...that helps Dan. A lot. I think he could have elaborated a little bit by adding something about sex in there, but then again, sex can be so casual these days that maybe he couldn't.

Anyway, well spoken dan. Well spoken. I've only been dating Chandler for a little over a month but I definitely am not at the chinese and a movie stage with him yet. So I feel much better about where I'm at with him now.

If you'd like to check out Dan's videos for any of your unanswered questions about the male species, I encourage you to do so.

Happy Hump Day!