10 Do's & Dont's if you're single on Valentine's day

Ah yes, the holiday that keeps Hershey's and Hallmark in business. The dreaded Valentine's day. I've had my share of Valentine's Days spent with the one I loved/lusted after/loathed/liked. I've also had my share of Single V-Days. And to be totally honest, as a real adult, I think I've enjoyed more single V-days than ones that I was in a relationship. But I do have to say my favorite ever Valentine's day, the one that no other has compared to, had to be the one with my first REAL boyfriend back in high school, Stuart. We were in 9th grade and had only started dating like a week earlier. We went to different schools so we didn't get to see each other every day, but were very much in the puppy love stage of our lives. It was all so innocent, so sweet. First kisses, first boy that I really got butterflies for, first boy who ever touched my boob (outside of the shirt of course), all very PG.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in 9th grade english ON Valentine's Day, when someone knocked on the door and interrupted the class. There was a "special delivery" for me. I'm pretty sure I turned bright red because I had NO idea what was coming next. Anyone at school hardly even knew I had a boyfriend, so why would I be getting something delivered on Valentine's day? In 9th grade, I was still fairly shy, timid, unsure about the popular girls and whether they would like me or if I even wanted them to. All this un-asked-for attention had my face turning beat red. The guy at the door had a small green glass vase with 2 roses in it. One red. One white. The card was addressed to me and had a sweet note from Stuart. Immediately I could feel everyone's eyes burning in the back of my head. I hated the burning questions that lingered behind me but at the same time I was absolutely thrilled and felt so loved to have received something that, in the 9th grade, was pretty showy. Thankfully for the english teacher, the attention was averted from me, and back to the books, but I knew that I would be questioned about it as soon as the bell rang.

Pretty sure I tried to play it cool, to all the people who I didn't consider my "close friends". It was something like "oh, yeah you know, this guy and I have been going out for like a little while now. Omg, no I had no idea he was going to send me flowers! He's absolutely the sweetest most thoughtful guy in the world. Omg yeah, he's so cute. I know, isn't he perfect! What did your boyfriend give you? Oh, no flowers yet...well I'm sure he's waiting til the end of the day..." To my friends of course, though, I was grinning ear to ear. Stuart really was the sweetest guy ever and I was so excited! I had never felt this special before, especially not from a guy!

Later that night, or maybe it was the weekend, I'm pretty sure one of our parents drove us to a "dinner date" to celebrate valentine's day. I don't remember where we went, but I'm sure if I asked him he could tell me. We continued to date for about a year after that, and I was sent or given flowers several more times in our relationship. And honest to God, he's probably given me more flowers than any other guy I've ever dated. Fast forward several years later...turns out he's gay so that might have something to do with why he was so sensitive and thoughtful, but when you're 14 years old, most of us haven't figured that part out about ourselves. And Stuart is still one of my absolute best friends in the world. Yes...this is the same Stuart that I referred to back in the fall. The one who's sister just got married in January. Yep, that's the one. And you wonder why every time I see him I'm filled with nostalgia...

So here we are, approaching yet another Valentine's day, and I'm single this year. I know I'm not the only one who's single so I've compiled a list of Do's and Dont's for all you singles out there this year. Without further ado:

• DO pick up your favorite chocolates/candy/hund cal fro-yo/wine. This is a holiday for indulgence no matter if you have someone to share it with or not. Sure, it would be nice for a man to know what your favorite sweets are and bring you a whole box of them, but honestly, candy doesn't cost that much. Splurge.
• DO pamper yourself this weekend - either at an actual spa or at home depending on your budget. Yep - pull out that face mask, give yourself a deep conditioning treatment, do your nails, treat yourself to a pedicure, run a bubble bath and relax.
• DO something social. Whether you attend a singles party, go to dinner w/ a girlfriend, or decide to hit a club, there's plenty going on for the singles of the world on Valentine's day. Be social and maybe you can find a hottie that wants to rip on V-day as much as you do by poking fun and people watching all the "happy couples" of the world.
• DO something nice for a friend. If you make this holiday about something OTHER than love for someone who's going through a hard time, you'll likely forget about your own troubles and make yourself and your friend feel better.
• DO get some fresh air. Atlanta's supposed to be gorgeous this weekend so go to the park, get some endorphins to the brain and you'll automatically have a more positive outlook on the day than you would if you didn't.
• DON'T sit on facebook all day and stalk your ex(es). Whether your ex is single or taken, this is a bad idea all around. You've got better things to do than waste your time either pining over your ex or thinking of ways you could get back at him. Trust me, you do (see DO'S list above).
• DON'T sit around watching sappy love movies all day by yourself unless you're completely happy being single. If you enjoy the single life more than anything and don't want a relationship, then more power to ya, but if you kind of wish you were seeing someone right now, or miss an ex or have a crush on someone who's not available or who blew you off, don't watch rom-coms all day. It will only make you more depressed and might lead to the next "DON'T".
• DON'T call, text, facebook message, tweet or email your ex, drunk or sober. No matter how great of an idea you think it is at the time, it's NOT. Around V-day, our heads are swirling with thoughts of love and lust and past lovers and boyfriends. We're surrounded with pink and red heart-shaped everythings and subconsciously it does tricky things to our brains. So no matter how platonic-sounding you think that text/email/fb message is...it's not. And no matter how much you think you can keep your shit together by calling him and leaving a voicemail, you can't. Something will slip out that you will regret saying. And as soon as he sees your number or name pop up on his phone, he'll know what it's about. And you've already lost the game. Why? Because it's valentine's day. And calls/texts from exes on or around valentine's day only reek of desperation, whether that's your intent or not. If he doesn't hear from you on V-day...then as far as he knows you spent the day with someone else. And that's all he needs to know.
• DON'T reach out to a booty call or a friend with benefits for a valentine's date. If you are actively someone's F* Friend, and you both have this understanding...don't try to turn it into something more just because it's Valentine's day. You'll likely lose what you had with that person and where's the fun in that?
• DON'T run around yelling and screaming obscenities at people who DO have a valentine. Yeah, it can suck being "alone" on valentine's but if you do the "DO'S" above, you'll be in a much better place and likely not even care about what the couples of the world are doing.

I'll leave you with one last piece of advice: Love yourself this Valentine's day.

And on that note, have a great weekend!