Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Well, I'll be damned if I ever figure this out. The games we play and the crazy hoops we jump through for the guy or girl that we think we're crazy about are beyond me. I find it funny that when we're not looking for love it falls in our laps and when we actively seek it out, it's one dead end after another. Why is that? And why is it that some women manage to NEVER be single, and some women can't do anything to get out of their dry spells (unless they resort to prostitution...which isn't an option for any of us with a moral fiber in our bodies)? These questions go through many of our minds on a weekly basis. And I think part of it is society's pressure - our parents were married at 22 (or younger in some cases) and here we are at 25...why don't we have husbands yet? Hey-zeus Christo, mom, get out of my head!


So going back to the games we play and the hoops we jump through - my head is spinning over one of my friend's recent love traumas. A few weeks back my friend Carrie was literally dating the way a man dates. Or maybe that's not quite right. She's dating the opposite of the way most women date is probably a more accurate statement. She's got a guy who is head over heels for her (or at least it seems that way since he's actively pursuing her) and upon finding out how he feels about her, she went into hot flashes and started hyperventilating because she's starting to feel smothered. Over a simple text message or two. Now granted, I am not her phone so I don't know exactly what's been said in the texts and how exactly the man in question is verbalizing his feelings for her, but I do know this - the underlying message is that he likes her and wants to spend time with her. That's a pretty awesome message if you ask me - direct, sweet and flattering. So why is she hyperventilating and freaking out? I'm not quite sure. But he's caught feelings and she thinks it's too much too fast. And it's funny to me because he apparently is the Ginnifer Goodwin character of the He's-Just-Not-That-Into-You case, and he doesn't realize it (much like Ginnifer Goodwin). He thinks he's being sweet and thoughtful and he's putting himself out there for love and my friend is the Justin Long character. She's the one that's shut down emotionally and putting up with the "basket case" that IS Ginnifer Goodwin. Funny how the roles are reversed here.

Now hopefully at the end of the story, she'll realize what a fool she's been and he'll be her "exception to the rule". But it's still a little early to tell. And the funny thing is, she's so wishy-washy about him. One minute she's disgusted, the next she's crushing! It really makes no sense whatsoever. So it begs the question - is she swooning because she actually likes him but is just scared of commitment? Or is she swooning because she just hasn't dated anyone in so long? And what's with the mind games? Why is she so wishy-washy? Why can't we just figure out, "hey, I like you, let's hang out and go on dates and kiss and maybe more if it feels right?" Why isn't it that simple? Instead we've got the "Ohmygosh, what if I like him? Well I don't want him to know how much I like him because then he'll stop liking me" mentality. Why does love make us act like complete fools? All common sense goes out the window and we no longer behave like rational human beings. My friend Rose said it best "My heart is in my vagina." Truer words have never been spoken. We worry that as soon as we let down that wall (or our panties, for that matter), we know we're going to fall HARD (i'm pretty sure you can finish that joke without my help).