-If there was a female version of Barney Stinson, I think I'd like to be her. Why, you ask? What's so great about Barney Stinson? Well, my friends if you have to ask that question, you clearly haven't met Barney.
Reasons why I want to be a female Barney Stinson:
1) I'd be awesome. (I know, I know, I already am awesome, but this is a whole different level of awesomeness)
2) I would be able to get any guy in any bar in any city in the US to want to sleep with me. (wait...check that one too, just kidding. but not really)
3) I'd be ridiculously good looking and have a killer expensive wardrobe to wear (- the equivalent of Barney's designer suits...thus resulting in #2 happening)
4) I'd get to play laser tag whenever I wanted to.
5) I'd have an amazing penthouse apartment or condo in NYC.
6) Ted would be my best friend. (actually, I do have my own personal Ted so I guess I'm that much closer to being AWESOME like Barney)
7) I wouldn't get hung up on not being in a relationship. I'd be perpetually single and love every minute of it.
8) I would get to have all of these AWESOME experiences, after 2am, that I could deem as Legen--wait for it--DARY!
-I have felt sick for the last 3 days...but I refuse to take any real cold medicine. I keep shooting Zicam up my nose but that's where it ends. No cough drops, no sudafed, no dayquil. But I think I'll have some chicken soup today.
-All I really want for Christmas is to get my ipod and my digital camera fixed. But I haven't told my mother that either of them are broken because they were christmas gifts from the last two years. I think she'll think I'm reckless with technology. Little does she know that I'm just drunk a lot and drop things. Wait...maybe that's the same thing as being reckless...?
-I have three Christmas parties to attend this weekend, but all I really want to do is stay home and watch Elf and play a drinking game with some egg nog and/or my aunt's homemade kahlua. I think this might have something to do with me feeling sick (see 2 bullets above).
-My parents do not understand the fascination with going out to the bars with my friends. My friend Martha and I were talking about this at lunch the other day. I keep hearing that I should "grow up" from my mother but she does not understand that this is what people my age DO with our free time. We literally work for the weekend. She doesn't understand because by the time she was my age she was already married for two years and didn't really ever experience singledom in her 20s (like I currently am). It was a different time back then when she was my age. And I can't help but feel her beady little eyes judging my lifestyle. Like, why aren't you settling down yet? It's not like I want you to pop out any grandkids any time soon but, don't you think you're a little old for hitting the bars? Well Mom, I've been legally allowed to drink for barely 3 years, and heavens no! I never drank underage! So why do you think I should be past this point in my life? The drinking age was 18 when you were in college so maybe you got your bar-hopping, binge-drinking lifestyle out of the way by the time you graduated college, but not us. We had to have the thrill of the chase when we were underage, sneaking into bars w/ fake id's and getting our older friends to buy alcohol for us for parties. So by the time we all turned 21 and could drink LEGALLY it's like starting the whole drinking fad all over again. Because now we're like, mature and it's like, so lame to have fake IDs. So we continue to drink in college, legally, and then we graduate and start our real corporate jobs and of course, to make friends and be liked in the office you "go grab a beer with (insert generic name here) after work - you know, to unwind after a long day at the office". Like I said, it's what people my age DO. So don't hate on the choices my friends and I make. Bars are our friends in our 20s. As I've referenced before, Buckhead is the Millege Ave Retirement Community and we will continue our Greek Life binge-drinking lifestyle until we get married and move to suburbia. When we're 35. Athankyouverymuch.
-Is it 5:00 yet? This girl needs a margarita like yesterday. Oh wait, I had one! But still...time for round 2.
Fa La La!
B
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