New Year, New Me

I feel like I said this last year, but here I go again. Hopefully this year I can say "out with the old, and in with the hot semi-cleaned up mess. Yes friends, I'm going to try and clean up my act this year. And I must say that aside from the heavy drinking and poor food choices this weekend, I really may have turned over a new leaf.

Something I'm not proud to say but also kind of really proud to say is that it's been, well, a while since I've had the pleasure of, well, having pleasure. That's an understandable thing though, seeing as I don't have a steady boyfriend (and haven't for a while) and it's a good thing because I'm not whoring around. I do, however, wish that I could have a steady fling going with one guy. Nothing complicated, nothing messy, just a pure, fun hook-up. However, I also realize that I should shed a few LBs before I jump in the sack with anyone. And whether this is a subconscious thing or if I'm actively turning guys down because of personal insecurities, I'm not really sure. But I do know this. In 2009 and half of 2010, after the Ex and I broke up, if given the opportunity, I would let my inhibitions down and be a little more eager to jump into bed with someone than I have been in the last 6 months. And it's not that the opportunity hasn't arisen in the last 6 months, but I have yet to follow through with anyone I've shared a bed with since June. I am a huge tease apparently. And I'm ok with that to be quite honest. Even proud of myself.

And I'm even more proud of myself because of the events of NYE. Ah yes, the last night of 2010, people dressed up in their finest cocktail attire, open bars, champagne being spilled down people's dresses, new years kisses. It's a glorious night. So glorious for me, in fact, that I managed to give my number to 2 guys and got one of them to drive me home to my apartment. If you are suave enough and/or if I'm drunk enough for you to drive me all the way back to my apartment, 9 times out of 10 you're going to be spending the evening with me in my bed. We may or may not take things past kissing depending on whether I actually find you attractive when we make it that far. But a bed will be shared and awkwardness is bound to ensue by morning unless we are close friends. But this night was different. This night was filled with long lingering kisses throughout the night - even after the ball dropped (from what I remember). And when this gentleman drove me home, he didn't try to make his way into my apartment, he simply asked if he could walk me to my door. And we did just that. Of course there was lots of talking, lots of kissing and a final goodnight around 4:30am, but this guy definitely seemed to enjoy my company and respected me enough to not make it a one-night hookup. Or maybe he just felt sorry for how drunk I was. Either way, this was definitely a new me. The next morning, I woke up my roommate (who heard me talking outside our front door the night before) and she asked me when I was taking New Years Boy home. And I said "he didn't stay here last night, it's a new year, a new me."

As for the other "new me" principles this year, I re-joined WW today and I'm starting my hot yoga class next week. Times they are a'changin'. Lookout 2011.