...begins online" according to Match.com. Really? Wow. I don't know if that's impressive or depressing.
Everyone says there's no stigma attached to online dating anymore, but doesn't that mean there still IS a stigma? Because the people who say there's no stigma are the ones who ARE dating online, right? And the ones that aren't dating online believe there IS a stigma. So I guess, who really knows, right?
Several of my girlfriends have been discussing the pros and cons of what we believe to be the online dating world. But none of us have really dipped our toe into the tangled web-pool yet. Or if we have, it's been JUST that, our toes. Some of us have "expiration dates" if you will, when it comes to the non-online-dating world. Meaning, we're willing to let ourselves "date traditionally" until we reach a certain and specific age. THEN we'll allow ourselves to explore the online-realm of dating. (Zack Morris Time Out: when I say "date traditionally" I don't exactly mean what our parents would consider "dating". We're not being courted, we're not being swept off our feet by a handsome man who wants to keep our "virtue" pure. By "date traditionally" I simply mean that we met this person through school, work, mutual friends, i.e. NOT online. The term "date" is used loosely because we apparently live in a post-dating world where group hangs and kick-ball games are considered dates as opposed to dinner and a walk on the beach. Not saying these non-dates are flawed! They definitely have their perks but I'm just trying to help define my school of thought here. Ok, Zack Morris Time IN)
Some of us refuse to try it (online dating), too worried about the creeper on the other end we might have to face once the emails and gchats turn into a real date. You know, like, what if their picture was taken 10 years ago and now they're bald and have gained 50 lbs? What if they have rude table manners and you can't stand to look directly at them during a happy hour because food is stuck in their teeth and they're spitting peanuts at you while they talk with their mouth full? What if they're ghastly unpleasant and have the filter of an 11 year old with severe ADD?
Then again, some of us are more welcoming of online dating because it will, for better or worse, teach us how to date again. The problem that many single women face today is that the men they surround themselves with are not looking for relationships. They're looking for a good time. And there's nothing wrong with that mentality - and sometimes I think that's exactly what everyone needs at some point in their lives! But as many of our girlfriends slowly start to pair off and head into "married-bliss" (their term, not ours because we apparently don't know what it is yet), we single gals realize that we too want the companionship and steadfastness of a husband - or at least a boyfriend who's willing to own up to the title. We've forgotten what it's like to truly date someone because our dates have been causal group hangs and meet-ups that we didn't think were dates until after he paid for our coffee and bought us dessert. So joining an online dating site is a little bit like learning how to date again for a lot of people. The intention of Match and EHarmony and other dating sites, I believe, is to actually legitimately date people. Best case scenario, it's to find your soulmate, a long-term relationship or a husband/wife. Sure there are some assholes who probably join the site with bad intentions, but I also want to believe that people who want an actual relationship are primarily the people who join these sites.
Of course I can't say for sure because I have yet to actually sign up for one of these sites. Which is why I plan to run a little experiment. Over the next 10 days, Eharmony is running a 10-day free promotion to join the site. I haven't ever filled out anything for an online dating site before so this should be interesting but I would like to become a little more knowledgeable about the online-dating world. See what it's really like. And who knows, maybe I'll actually end up getting a few dates out of it! I'm not going to hold my breath for meeting the man of my dreams this way (I do still believe there's a stigma associated with online dating at this point...because I've never tried it yet), but what have I got to lose? So stay tuned next week to get a glimpse into the world of Online Dating. Hopefully it'll yield some good blogging material, if nothing else.
Til next time!
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Hello Blaire -- I've been meaning to drop by! I vote in favor of online dating but I don't think match is the best option. Based on stories and my own experiences I feel like its a match.com(edy) of errors. There are tons of fun new dating sites where you won't feel like you are casting the net so wide. I wrote about a few recently. I've have been hearing that OK cupid has the most quality dudes. Oh an don't worry about expiration dating just yet, you're still a twenty-something.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback Jewels! I have to say it's been an interesting couple of weeks since I wrote my last post. I'm definitely going to recap some of that this week though so stay tuned! And thanks for stopping by the blog :)
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