There's always a "but".

So...you know how I said I got off match? Well...I lied. I mean, I really haven't logged on in probably over a month, but I just did today because I actually got a message from someone that was more than just "hey u look hott. want 2 chat?"

Of course, upon further review, I'm not all that interested, but I did have my "daily 5" to check out, so I read through the profiles and actually stumbled upon 2 interesting men. Everything they said in their profiles sounded great! They seem very mature - looking for something more than just a friendship or a hook up, they like all sorts of different activities - things I've wanted to try and things that scare me to death but could be exciting to try one day. A sense of humor (I can tell in their writing), good looks, kind smiles. So, what's his "but", right? There's always a but.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/16892/how-i-met-your-mother-every-blind-date-has-a-but

Well, one guy's "but" was that he was 35. The other guys was that he was divorced. Ugh. Really?? Am I at the age that divorced guys are my option now? "Divorced" should send 25 year old women like me, running for the hills! If he's divorced that means he once WAS married, thought it was what he wanted, decided no, got divorced and is now on the prowl for someone younger, hotter and easier. While I am definitely younger, probably hotter, and depending on the amount of alcohol, possibly easier, I don't think that that should automatically qualify me to be a "match" for a divorced guy. Of course, not that the website would know those things about me besides being younger. But still - if that one little part of his profile said "single" instead of "divorced", I'd probably set something up...but divorcee = baggage. He doesn't have kids, but I wouldn't want to ever deal with the 1st wife drama that might come along. I can't imagine being with someone who's already made such a commitment in their life before.

For me, I want to only be married once. And stay married to that man until death do us part. I do not take marriage lightly. It's hard for me to imagine marrying someone who took the plunge with someone else before me. There's always the question of, "what went wrong that it had to end in divorce?" and you'll only ever get to hear his side of the story. And you're already meeting him online so technically he can be whoever he wants to be - full of lies and mystery, and ultimately end up ruining your life! Yes, I'm aware that all this sounds very paranoid but I just am frustrated that after not being on for over a month, that one of the best options available to me is a divorcee! I really am getting off this thing for good. No more renewals. No more essentially "blind" dates. There's a huge part of me that would hate myself for having to tell my kids the story of how I met their father if it was through an online dating service. So let's just quit while I'm behind.

Match: you did teach me a lot of things about dating again - you gave me a new perspective on what I want and don't want in a boyfriend/eventual husband. And for that, match.com, I thank you. But - and there's always a "but" - I think your system is flawed and there's still too much stigma associated with what you stand for to actually make me want to find my future husband on your site. Props to people who do, but I don't think I'm going to be one of your success stories. I wish you the best of luck matching up divorcees with people 10 years younger than them. May you help change people's lives for the better, from this day forward. Farewell, match.